BeoRace: The Epic
by Gryffin Parker
Summary: Racehas been charged with an epic quest: to do the laundry of the Newsboys or to die in the attempt. Will he make it? Will the kingdom survive? Will Prince Jack and Princess Davey ever leave their bedroom? Find out in this epic story!


Disclaimer:  I do not own Newsies.  If I did, I'd be selling these stories to make up sequels rather than posting them on fanfiction.net.  (yeah, some of them would be pretty bad sequels, but at least you'd get to see lots more of those newsboys, and there would be more boy on boy action ^_^)  And, a big thank you goes out to my Brit. Lit professor, who said that you could not write an epic about something that you do everyday, like going downstairs to do the laundry.  She gave me the idea for this story, and she finally got me writing again!  Thanks Professor!

**Beo****-Race**

****

Gryffin Parker

_Introduction_

            A long time a go, in a land far, far away, there was once a very small kingdom simply called The Lodgingus Housus, in the fair land of New Yorkia.  This particular kingdom was owned by King Kloppman.  Now, King Kloppman was an odd fellow.  Though he opened his doors to everyone, only the males were allowed to become citizens of that fair nation.  One day, King Kloppman became very ill, with a disease that some deemed worse than death.  Nobody in the kingdom would even dare to utter the name of the dreadful disease.  If one did, a strange sensation would come over the rest of the royal subjects.  Their bodies would start convulsing; odd broken shouts came forth from their mouths.  Some would fall to the floor, clutching their sides or kicking their legs at the mere mention of this disease.  This same disease has a similar effect on young boys today.  We call it simply 'the runs.'

            King Kloppman, in his dire state, called Prince Jack Kelly, heir to the throne of The Lodgingus Housus, to the door of the bathroom, er… throne room.  Jack, also known as Cowboy, and occasionally Francis Sullivan when his boyfriend was mad at him, was a tall, strapping, charismatic boy.  He was the image of a prince with his fair hair and green eyes, with the exception of the fact that he 'was a boy of very little brain,' as it were.  But, most of the population ignored that fact, because Cowboy could charm the pants off of anyone.  (quite literally)

            "Prince Jack," the old man called.  "I am not well.  I fear that I will not be able to carry on with the tasks of this great kingdom.  You, as my hand chosen heir, must take charge of the daily duties, starting today."

            "But my liege!" the cowboy-prince cried in a horrified voice.  "Doest thou know what day it be?"

            Kloppman shook his head sadly from his porcelain throne.  

            "Aye, indeed I do, young sir.  I have not lost my wits, only my health.  'Tis Tuesday, Prince Jack.  That means it is LAUNDRY DAY."  Thunder cracked as those horrific words spilled from King Kloppy's mouth.  The lights flickered and hummed their electric tune.  A look of pure terror crossed Jack's pretty face.

            "Oh no!  Not the laundry!  Anything but the laundry!"

            "Yes, the laundry.  Have faith, Prince Jack.  This is the hour for you to shine, and lead your kingdom so that they may live in peace and cleanliness.  You have many brave and noble knights at your disposal.  They will aide you to the best of their ability.  Surely one of them must be able to complete this task for their kingdom."

            "But, my lord, I have already conquered the World!  Why can't somebody else do it?"

            "Because you're the leader, Jack," Kloppman said from the bathroom, mimicking what Princess Davey had said during the quest for the World.

            "As you wish, King Kloppman."  Cowboy replaced his hat, which had a small paper crown placed around the brim and turned to leave the face of the blank portal into the throne room.

            "Oh, and Jacky?"

            "Yes, my lord?"

            "I will be well again soon.  I expect that you will have completed this task by that time.  Do I make myself clear?"  The lights dimmed once more, though there was no accompaniment of thunder to King Kloppman's words.

            "Yes, of course your grace," Jack said with a small bow toward the door.  Jack shuddered as the old man's powerful words coursed through his veins.  Slowly, he made the dejected trip to inform the Newsboys of their impending fate.

_End One_

A/N:  I really enjoyed writing this, and I can't wait to have the next chapter up for you guys.  ^_^  I kept slipping into Pirates of the Caribbean mode on accident while I was writing this, and Kloppman turned out more like the drunk guy in POTC than I expected but… ah well.  

Race:  You'se can say dat again.

He's still interesting, Racetrack.  

Race:  Says you, ya bum.

Oooh, just wait until I get to the next chapter, Anthony Higgins!

Race:  I'se shakin' in me boots.

Boots:  What?

*slaps Race*

Race: *catches the littlie goirlie's arm and taps her on the cheek*

*glares at Race, who now has her held so she cannot hit him*

Race:  Nevah mind. Just look cute and beg for feedback, kid.

Boots:  Oh, okay!  *holds up a sign and smiles*  Please Review!


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